Day 13: Grace For The Mentally Struggling
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I've been told that my personality is “a bit much” — especially when I'm manic.
I fidget around, talk over people, and come across as nervously energetic.
It’s all a little much… but when I’m doing it, I don’t know I’m doing it.If I could stop, I would.
For those of you doing life with someone with mental ill health, just know — we're not trying to be annoying.
We might be manic, not overbearing.
Or we might be anxious — not rude or standoffish.
We didn’t zone out because your story is boring… we might just have ADHD.If your mentally ill friend is getting on your nerves or acting differently, it’s not to intrude or irritate.
We’re just trying to get through the day the best we can.
Let’s Talk
Living with mental illness doesn’t always look the way people expect it to.
It’s not all sad songs, psychosis, obsession or quiet crying.
Sometimes it’s rambling too much in a conversation.
Sometimes it’s over-apologising or zoning out or interrupting or being way too intense about a new idea.
And most of the time you don’t even realise you’re doing it until someone looks at you weird… or withdraws… or tells you you’re “a bit much.”
When you live with something like bipolar, ADHD, anxiety, or trauma, your brain works differently. Not worse — just different. But the world often doesn’t give much consideration for the different. So you end up second-guessing your every word and every interaction, not because you’re trying to be dramatic, but because being misunderstood starts to feel inevitable.
And if you’re not the one with the diagnosis, but you love someone who does — this part matters:
They’re not trying to hijack your conversation or push your buttons.
They’re likely trying harder than you know to regulate, to show up, and to keep the mask from slipping.
You don’t need to tiptoe around them. Just offer what all of us need — compassion, patience, and curiosity.
Scripture
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
— Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)
This verse is part of Paul’s call to live in a way that reflects our identity in Christ — not just with doctrine, but with relational character. Humility. Gentleness. Patience. These aren’t soft traits — they’re spiritual disciplines forged in the tension of community.
John Stott, in his commentary The Message of Ephesians, writes:
“These four qualities — humility, gentleness, patience, and forbearance — are essential to maintain any form of Christian unity. They demand that we adjust ourselves to others, not the other way around.”
That’s especially relevant when interacting with people who live with mental health challenges. Their symptoms may not always be visible or easily explained. But Scripture calls us to bear with one another in love — not because it’s convenient, but because love requires it.
To “bear with” someone isn’t to excuse all behaviour — it’s to stay present in the midst of it. It’s to recognise that the quirks, impulsivity, intensity, or social awkwardness of someone you love might not be intentional — but very likely, it’s exhausting for them too.
Mental Health Moment
Mental ill-health often disrupts social interaction in ways that aren’t immediately visible. Symptoms like hyperactivity, poor impulse control, overthinking, forgetfulness, or heightened emotional responses can unintentionally strain relationships — making individuals feel difficult to love or misunderstood.
What they often need most, however, is patience and grace as they navigate their mental health journey.
This isn’t about excusing harmful behaviour. It’s about holding space for imperfection — in ourselves and in others — and recognising that connection and compassion are vital parts of recovery and resilience.
Practice for Today
If you live with mental ill-health:
Write down three ways you tend to self-criticise your behaviour.
Then write a line underneath each one:
“This isn’t a flaw — it’s part of my journey.”
If you love someone who struggles:
Next time they act in a way that feels off-putting, pause.
Before reacting, ask yourself:
“Could there be something deeper going on here?”
A Prayer for the Misunderstood (and the Ones Trying to Understand)
God,
Sometimes I feel like too much — or not enough.
I overthink everything I say, everything I do.
Help me stop measuring my worth by how well I perform.
And when I’m on the other side — loving someone I don’t fully understand —
Help me slow down, soften my judgments, and lean in with love.
Give me patience for myself, and compassion for others.
Amen.
Reflection Prompt
When was the last time you felt misunderstood?
What helped you feel seen — and how can you offer that same gift to someone else this week?
