Day 19: Friendship Through Shared Struggle
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We had a cockatoo called Samson growing up. He was stunning to look at — but man, he had a temper. You couldn’t get close without him trying to bite you or screech at you like a banshee. No one could figure out why. We built him a deluxe cage. Fed him well. Gave him attention. But he hated us all equally.
One day, though, Samson got his foot stuck in the cage and ended up dangling upside down. We tried to help, but true to form, he snapped at every hand that got close. Finally, my brother went in with scissors and gently, patiently cut him free.
And something changed.
From that day on, Samson loved him. Ate out of his hand. Sat on his shoulder. Even started saying “Hello Cocky.” A friendship was forged — not through comfort, but through crisis.
Let’s Talk
Hardship can do two things: it can push people away, or it can pull people in.
When we’re stuck — emotionally, mentally, or spiritually — it’s easy to lash out like Samson the cocky. We bite at the very hands trying to help. We misread love as threat. We confuse help with control. Because when you’re hurting, vulnerability feels a bit scary.
But the people who stay — who don’t run when you’re hard to love, who patiently sit with you in the mess without needing to fix it — those are the ones who earn our trust. That’s where the deepest friendships are forged: not just in laughter and fun times at the beach, but in the slow work of growing little by little.
You don’t have to be fixed to be loved. You just have to be willing to let someone close enough to see where you’re stuck.
Bible Narrative Summary: David and Jonathan — 1 Samuel 18–20
David and Jonathan’s friendship wasn’t built on comfort or convenience — it was forged in the fire of chaos, betrayal, and a thousand hectic events.
Jonathan was the son of King Saul — the same king who became obsessed with killing David. But instead of siding with his father, Jonathan risked everything to protect his friend. He warned David of danger, helped him escape death, and reaffirmed their covenant of friendship with deep emotion and loyalty.
They both wept when they parted — not just because they were close, but because their bond had been tested and proven in suffering. Jonathan didn’t just celebrate David’s victories. He stood by him in fear and uncertainty — and that’s what made their friendship so epic.
Mental Health Moment
When you’re in survival mode, it’s normal to be prickly, withdrawn, reactive, or hard to read. Pain can make us defensive — even toward the people trying to help. Vulnerability feels risky when life already hurts.
But healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in the quiet safety of consistent relationships that don’t disappear when you’re not easy to love.
Francis Chan once said, “The church is not a group of people who come together to hear a sermon. It is a group of people who are learning to love.”
That kind of love isn’t loud or flashy — it’s patient. It sticks around. It chooses presence over performance. And it slowly builds trust, not because everything is fixed, but because someone chose to stay when things weren’t.
You don’t need a crowd. You just need a few people who won’t run when you fall apart. And if you have that, you’re already rich in the stuff that really matters.
Practice for Today
Think of one person who stuck by you when you weren’t at your best. Maybe they sat with you in your sadness, took you for a walk, or helped you when you were a mess. Reach out. Thank them.
And if someone in your life is stuck — emotionally, mentally, or spiritually — don’t give up on them too quickly. Your steady presence might just be the thing that cuts them free.
A Prayer for the Samsons of this world
Lord,
When I’m hurting, I don’t always let people close.
Sometimes I bite. Sometimes I hide.
But You never stop gently showing up.
Help me trust again — not just in You, but in others.
And help me be the kind of person who sticks around for the slow rescue.
Amen.
Reflection Prompt
When has someone earned your trust by walking through something hard with you?
How can you offer that kind of presence to someone else this week?
