Day 27: Don’t Fix It. Just Be There
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In the book of Job, we meet a man who loses everything — his health, his wealth, his family. Everything. His friends come to comfort him, and they do a great job... until they open their mouths. Job’s friends start well — sitting in silence with him.
But once they open their mouths, they try to mansplain everything. They try to figure out formulas and tell Job what he’d done wrong. They even try to speak on behalf of God. Eventually, their silence is surpassed by their stupidity.
Sometimes the best way to support someone in need is just to be there. We don’t need to solve it or say all the right things. All we need to do is be present.
Proverbs 17 says, “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent.” So next time you’re helping a loved one in pain — just turn up, and keep your mouth shut.
Let’s Talk
There’s a unique kind of helplessness that comes when someone you love is in pain or struggling.
You want to say something comforting.
You want to do something useful.
You want to fix it — or at least make the silence less awkward.
But more often than not, it’s the silence that is the most powerful, not the words.
In the Book of Job, his world falls apart and when his friends first show up, they actually do one thing that’s helpful:
they sit with him in silence for seven days.
No speeches. No theories. No spiritual clichés. Just presence.
But then they open their mouths — and it all goes downhill from there.
They start guessing why Job is suffering.
They throw around spiritual-sounding advice.
They try to explain what God must be doing behind the scenes.
And eventually, Job tells them off, and so does God, because their words become more wounding than their silence ever was.
Here’s the hard truth:
Pain makes us uncomfortable — and we often try to fix it to relieve ourselves, not the person we’re trying to help.
We say things like:
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“Just pray about it.”
“God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
“You just need to choose joy.”
“At least it’s not as bad as…”
We mean well. But sometimes we just make it worse. And usually, the most effective thing you can do for a struggling friend is to simply be with them and say nothing, prove nothing, and let them feel seen.
Scripture
“Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.”
— Proverbs 17:28 (NIV)
Mental Health Moment
When someone’s in the middle of depression, anxiety, grief, or trauma — their nervous system is already overwhelmed. Logical explanations, correction, or spiritual “solutions” often land as noise or pressure.
But the power of non-anxious presence is massive.
Sitting quietly.
Holding space.
Letting them cry without rushing them.
Letting them talk without fixing them.
Letting them feel without correcting them.
That kind of presence actually supports their nervous system to regulate again.
They feel safe and seen, and that’s when healing can begin to take place.
Practice for Today
Think of someone in your world who might be walking through something heavy right now.
Instead of asking what you can say…ask what you can offer with your presence.
A text that says, “I’m here.”
A meal on their doorstep.
A silent drive.
A coffee and no pressure to talk.
Write this truth down somewhere:
“Being there is doing something.”
A Prayer for the Supporters
Jesus,
You are the God who sits with the brokenhearted.
Teach me how to do the same.
Help me resist the urge to fill the silence, to fix what’s not mine to fix, or to offer words that You’re not speaking.
Let my presence carry Your peace.
And when I don’t know what to do — help me remember that love doesn’t always need volume.
Amen.
Reflection Prompt
When someone close to you is hurting, what’s your default response — fixing, speaking, withdrawing, distracting?
What would it look like to just be with them, the way God is with you?
