Faith, Mental Health & Ministry: Ralph Mayhew on Depression, Pastoring, and Finding Joy in Jesus

Dave Quak: If you've been on Ralph Mayhew Photography, you know why I started like that. Where did you come up with the catchphrase, mate? You’re a photographer, you’re Aussie, you just have to say, "What's cracking?"

00:00:47 - 00:00:53
Ralph Mayhew: It was actually by accident one day. I was doing this video and just said it. I’m like, "Oh, that resonates."

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Dave Quak: It’s really just…

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Ralph Mayhew: Cracking.

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Dave Quak: It’s like, it’s cracking! I love your YouTube channel. Thanks, man. It’s been good, helpful.

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Ralph Mayhew: It’s fun.

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Dave Quak: Yeah, man.

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Dave Quak: Thanks for coming on the show, Ralph. You’re an awesome friend to me and a blessing in my life and many others. You wear many hats, both metaphorically and physically. If you go on Ralph Mayhew Photography, you see many hats.

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Ralph Mayhew: A different hat every episode.

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Dave Quak: Have you ever done one without a hat?

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Ralph Mayhew: Only once, actually.

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Dave Quak: By accident?

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Ralph Mayhew: Yeah, there’s not much hair, so it’s much more comfortable with a hat.

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Dave Quak: So, the metaphorical hats: you’re a husband, a dad. Tell us about the family.

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Ralph Mayhew: I’ve been married for 24 years. We’ve got two kids: Zara, who’s 11 in grade six, loves dancing, and Eamon, who’s nine in grade four, loves soccer. So, we’re busy running around with them.

00:01:59 - 00:02:15
Dave Quak: That’s so cool, man. As a profession, you’ve got two hats as well: the church role and your work with mission development in the Uniting Church.

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Ralph Mayhew: Yeah, I’m the pastor at Village Church, which we planted eight years ago. It’s been amazing to see it grow. I also work with the Synod in the Uniting Church, coaching and supporting church planters. It’s exciting to partner with people on the front lines, remembering how tough it can be and offering advice from my experience.

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Ralph Mayhew: It helps me offer thoughts they might not have considered.

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Dave Quak: I wish we’d had more of that when we started. Your church is thriving.

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Ralph Mayhew: Yeah.

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Dave Quak: I preached there a couple of months ago; it was awesome. I didn’t know what to expect from a Uniting Church. I was half hoping you’d wear a man dress.

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Ralph Mayhew: You have to buy your own.

00:03:23 - 00:03:29
Dave Quak: Did you get one?

00:03:29 - 00:03:39
Ralph Mayhew: It looks like something from Star Wars. No lightsaber included, though. I’m not wearing that.

00:03:39 - 00:03:47
Dave Quak: I’d wear whatever the Baptists wear. What do we wear? Nothing special.

00:03:47 - 00:03:49
Ralph Mayhew: You just get up there.

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Dave Quak: It’d go better if we wore nothing! But no, you’ve also been a brother to me with my mental well-being. As listeners know, I don’t always flourish mentally, and I’ve called on you as a brother in Christ. You’ve been there with training as a pastor, empathy as a friend, and experience from your own struggles. Can we talk about that?

00:04:10 - 00:04:46
Ralph Mayhew: Absolutely. I’ve been in ministry for over 20 years, and mental health is now more acceptable to discuss. Back when I struggled with depression, I didn’t know anyone else who had it. I thought something was wrong with me. Over time, I realized I wasn’t alone and wanted others to know that too. There are more resources now, like this podcast, to help people navigate it.

00:04:46 - 00:05:07
Ralph Mayhew: It’s caused me to lean closer to people struggling, offering insights from my own journey to help them.

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Dave Quak: Can you recall what it felt like to feel alone?

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Ralph Mayhew: It was like being in a thick fog. I could hear people, but I felt detached, like I couldn’t reach them or bring them into my space. I didn’t fully understand it myself. We need to train people to talk about mental health, to create safe spaces to identify and address what’s going on.

00:06:34 - 00:07:32
Ralph Mayhew: It snuck up on me. I didn’t realize why I was miserable, sad, or despondent, with no desire for things I usually enjoyed. Irrational thoughts felt real because I had no mirror to show they weren’t healthy. Friends treating me differently made me realize I needed help. I went to a GP, got medication, and started addressing it as a real issue.

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Dave Quak: Where was your wife in that?

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Ralph Mayhew: We’d been dating for four or five years when it started, and we got married in the midst of it. She was amazing, sticking by me and speaking truth, which disarmed me because I trusted her. She had her own struggles, dealing with my out-of-character behavior without a clear cause.

00:08:48 - 00:09:41
Dave Quak: That must have been hard for both of you. Were you a pastor yet?

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Ralph Mayhew: No, I was at Bible college then. I had a relapse about seven or eight years later when I was a pastor, so I’ve experienced it both before and during ministry.

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Dave Quak: Did you ever feel it disqualified you from ministry?

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Ralph Mayhew: There was always that fear. Preaching God’s truth while struggling mentally was hard, especially when my life didn’t feel congruent with what I was proclaiming. I clung to the fact that God called me, trusting He’d let me know if that changed. Gradually, the truth I preached became my truth again.

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Ralph Mayhew: Mental health struggles can make us believe lies about ourselves. Clarity comes from remembering God’s truth about us—His love, care, and calling. That helps us move forward.

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Dave Quak: Do you still deal with this periodically?

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Ralph Mayhew: A supervisor once told me I could go back to therapy or learn to identify and manage triggers. I chose the latter and became sensitive to what affects my mental health. I take breaks or shift my thinking when needed. The downs are shorter now, but I’m always aware of my vulnerability and prioritize self-care, especially as a pastor.

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Ralph Mayhew: The church can take a lot, so I rely on God to replenish me through Sabbath, prayer, or community.

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Dave Quak: If you’re in a similar place, check out our online course, Loving Life with Faith and Mental Health, for $28. It’s 28 days of helpful content. Links are in the show notes or at sunburntsouls.com. Ralph, you’re ahead of most in our demographic with coaching planters. A couple of weeks ago, you helped me redirect my thinking when I was struggling, and it turned things around.

00:14:51 - 00:15:32
Dave Quak: Yesterday, preaching at another church, I felt mania creeping in. I had to push through but knew it was time to focus on replenishment—for my family and church, not just me.

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Ralph Mayhew: That’s a lot of pressure. Do you feel it?

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Dave Quak: I don’t always notice it until it’s there. I live in the moment, so a good day feels like a good life, and a bad day feels terrible. Right now, my mental state isn’t where it needs to be as a pastor, but we’re going on holiday soon, and I’m owning it.

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Ralph Mayhew: Culture sets exhausting standards for a sound mind. Recalibrating to God’s expectations, which are often less than our own or the church’s, helps us minister in the midst of struggles.

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Dave Quak: The more we wrestle theologically with this, the more we see God doesn’t have these high expectations we put on ourselves.

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Ralph Mayhew: Processing theological implications is easier than personal ones. Twenty years ago, I’d have said the Bible doesn’t say much about mental health. Now, looking at the Psalms, prophets, and Jesus, it’s clear it says a lot, which is enriching and replenishing.

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Dave Quak: With your oversight of churches, do you think the 25% anxiety statistic from Beyond Blue applies to the church, or are we still in denial?

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Ralph Mayhew: Definitely 25%. People are more open to owning it now, which helps. Back in the day, admitting anxiety as a Christian got weird looks, like it meant your faith was weak. Now, we recognize God can work in anxiety, depression, or bipolar.

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Ralph Mayhew: We risk normalizing it too much, saying, “It’s fine, live with it.” Your podcast helps people live with it in a way that honors God, welcoming His work. For some, anxiety is temporary; for others, it dominates. Both need God’s presence.

00:19:48 - 00:20:27
Dave Quak: We should recognize it but not let it define our identity or stop us from working on it. Instead of saying, “I’m anxious,” say, “I’m a child of God who gets anxious.” That small shift affirms our identity in Christ.

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Ralph Mayhew: Exactly. It’s like saying, “I have no foot,” not “I am no foot.” It’s part of life this side of eternity, not something to be ashamed of.

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Dave Quak: There’s a lot of brokenness—mental, physical, emotional. I rarely hear people say medication is a lack of faith anymore. Do you?

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Ralph Mayhew: No, and if they did, they wouldn’t get far. Medication was one rung on the ladder out of my depression pit. It’s not an elevator—you still climb—but it helps, alongside support, faith, and self-talk.

00:21:51 - 00:22:44
Ralph Mayhew: For some, mental health feels out of control. That’s when a trusted GP can help find medication to level you out, so it doesn’t rule your life.

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Dave Quak: What steps are you taking to enrich your spiritual life?

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Ralph Mayhew: I love Lectio 365 for morning, midday, and evening prayers. Recently, after getting shingles from stress, I started using a stress tracker. Breathing exercises helped, but combining them with Lectio 365 dropped my stress significantly. I’m a poor creature of habit, so I fit spiritual disciplines like fasting, prayer, or Sabbath into my day’s flow, like taking a walk with Jesus.

00:24:09 - 00:24:55
Ralph Mayhew: This accommodates the messiness of life and works better for me than rigid routines.

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Dave Quak: You seem to love being a Christian. Some pastors don’t look like they enjoy it, but you do.

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Ralph Mayhew: I grew up going to church with my mum. At a youth camp, I made a decision for Christ, and God met me. Something came alive—baptized by the Holy Spirit. Before, faith was about getting to heaven; after, a fire was lit for Jesus that’s never gone out.

00:26:07 - 00:26:52
Ralph Mayhew: I see myself first as a forgiven child of God, then as a husband, dad, pastor, and friend. My relationship with Jesus drives everything.

00:26:52 - 00:27:27
Ralph Mayhew: That love grows stronger with age. When I preach the gospel now, I tear up, realizing how undeserving I am and how much I need it.

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Dave Quak: By God’s grace, you’re flourishing mentally and spiritually, loving Jesus. That’s a win.

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Ralph Mayhew: Spiritual growth isn’t just Bible reading or prayer—it’s living for Jesus, especially when it’s hard. That’s the “meat” of faith, not just the “milk.”

00:28:28 - 00:29:06
Dave Quak: I saw you on a whale-watching trip, chasing the perfect shot. Did you get it?

00:29:06 - 00:29:36
Ralph Mayhew: No, but that trip sparked this podcast idea with our mutual friend who’s now with Jesus.

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Dave Quak: Your photography and YouTube channel create opportunities to connect people to faith. That’s cool.

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Ralph Mayhew: I’ve met incredible people through it, like a guy in Canada who supports our church. It’s not overtly Christian, but God uses it to reach people.

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Dave Quak: It’s worship through creativity, glorifying God. Your channel does that.

00:31:58 - 00:32:45
Dave Quak: Ralph, I appreciate you. You love Jesus, live well, and your family seems happy. One step forward each day is a win.

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Dave Quak: For those at the bottom of the pit, what’s your encouragement?

00:33:04 - 00:34:16
Ralph Mayhew: Find someone you trust who understands and be open to their challenge. Redefine what a win looks like—focus on what the gospel says, not worldly goals. Enjoy God in a way that’s just you and Him, like photography for me. That brings Sabbath, hope, and strength to break the cycle of struggle.

00:34:16 - 00:34:41
Dave Quak: Thanks to the Junction team in Burleigh for this studio. You can hire it for podcast production. Ralph, can you pray for us?

00:34:41 - 00:35:42
Ralph Mayhew: Lord, thank You for this opportunity and Dave’s work with Sunburnt Souls. It brings hope, life, and faith. For those listening, may they know Your presence, open their hearts and creativity to You, and find hope in their future. Bless this podcast to reach more people and use Junction Studios for Your kingdom. Amen.

00:35:42 - 00:36:05
Dave Quak: Thanks for tuning in to this episode with Ralph Mayhew. Check out Ralph Mayhew Photography or Village Church in Burleigh. He’s got something real with God and a heart to equip people. Thank you for listening, and may God bless you this week.